alastair

Change of host

2008-06-06T18:27:00.004+01:00

I've decided to move my blog, I've been told Wordpress is superior to Blogger, so let's give it a go!

My link to my new blog is akenny02.wordpress.com , change your blogrolls to my new site!

Champions!

2008-05-22T00:21:00.002+01:00

Let's All Go to Moscow

2008-04-29T21:48:00.003+01:00

I've written a song to honour the occasion. The tune isn't original, but the lyrics are copyright Alastair Kenny 2008.

Let's all go to Moscow
Let's all go to Moscow
Na na na na (hey)
Na na na na

(to the tune of "Let's All Do the Bouncy")

An Insider's View

2008-04-15T22:08:00.007+01:00

Until Sam Moore reminded me with this post, I had forgotten about my plans to write an article entitled "The Credit Crunch: Who is to Blame?". I squashed those plans, I'm a little scared of the Man, because he pays my rent.

There has been a lot of discussion around the involvement of Ben Bernanke and the Fed in financial markets. When things are good, banks hate Fed intervention: "Free market economy", they say. "Regulations? Have you read 1984?". But now, after the years of excess had so far inflated the bubble, the results of the POP have been catastrophic, and the same voices are crying out for Bernanke to wield his power to save the skins of the financial institutions; it's hypocritical at a level I've never encountered. Fed intervention is the order of the day, in times when short positions and fearmongering can sink a huge bank in one solitary week. A bank that survived the Great Depression, no less.

The blame lies with many.
The money-grabbing banks and institutions, lapping up the profits from "triple A" rated CDOs, instruments deliberately complex to disguise the rotting smell of looming failure; mortgage brokers, who lowered their standards of underwriting so that I could buy Beckingham Palace if I had a tenner in my pocket; the Central Banks (the Fed, the BoE and the ECB), whose high interest rates only drove brokers to drive their criteria lower, and when the turmoil came, made a series of errors, the severity of each depends on your economic views; the Rating Agencies, "yes men" all too happy to tag AAA ratings onto subprime debt bound to fail as soon as the property markets fell (it's called a cycle for a reason); the Financial Guarantors, or Monolines, the AAA rated insurance companies who insured those bonds which would never have reached AAA status on their own (in effect, one insurance company guaranteed the entire state of California, the 6th largest economy in the world); greedy real estate speculators, who bought all they could to make a quick buck, forced first-time buyers into the rental markets, and abandoned their debts when residential property began to fall in value.

Now we are reaping what we have sown. The first victims were the homeowners, who suddenly couldn't pay their mortgages. In some areas of California, 1 in 20 houses were being repossessed; entire streets were deserted. It was during this time that I felt sick reading newspaper articles and financial reports, crying for Fed intervention. Young couples, working class families and pensioners were being kicked from their homes, and all the CEOs could do was complain about their profits from the previous year being wiped out.

Now, the situation is beginning to show full effect. Northern Rock and Bear Stearns disappeared; most of the monolines defaulted on their debt and lost their AAA status; banks recorded huge writedowns; investment banks sank, unable to access the emergency funding provided for the commercial banks. The result? Culls in financial institutions, thousands of job losses; John McCain unveiling his incredible lack of understanding of the economy, for a presidential candidate (though I'd throw that in there - go Obama); the Fed practically establishing a fourth branch of American government; interest rate cuts guaranteeing inflation rises when food prices are already rising, thanks to the "solution" to fossil fuel burning.

This is not behind us. We can expect foreclosures on mortgages until mid 2009, as teaser rates end and homeowners cannot afford to refinance. LIBOR is at a record high above the base rate, counteracting the actions of the BoE, and banks are still hoarding money, refusing to lend to each other, causing further delays to any progress in the markets. In recent news, student loan lenders in the US are backing out, leaving the supply of funding short of demand - so some students could miss out on a college education because noone would lend them the entrance fee.

And who said banking is boring? Well maybe it is a little. But the Great Depression's got nothing on us.

St Patrick's Day

2008-03-13T01:09:00.002Z

Check out this St. Patrick's Day website, looks like it's gonna be awesome all weekend!

Come on down and hang out!

Juno

2008-02-24T19:44:00.008Z

Go see this.

Then go buy this.

Official Juno site

Juno myspace

Suspension of Disbelief

2008-02-16T21:38:00.015Z

(Following on from my previous post...)

I think that part of my problem with the Bible begins with teaching, not dissimilar to our the remarks of our preacher friend here. I've never doubted the authority of the Bible, I have always believed that it is God's way of communicating with us. But recently, I've begun to realise more and more that God speaks to us very powerfully through other mediums. I've always known this, but in the tradition I was brought up in, I never felt free enough to let myself believe that I could hear God through films, music, sport, and literature, amongst other things.

My musings caused to me write this post, about how it is arrogant to take Scriptures, bend it in a certain way, and call it "truth". When Scripture is explained, immediately it can be interpreted incorrectly. So sorry, preacher friend, I don't buy it.

I think I have begun to believe that we are putting too much emphasis on the Scriptures. Or, to rephrase, maybe we're putting the wrong emphasis on the Scriptures. We're taking this Almighty God, who created us, sustains us and spoke to us (partly) through his word, and trapping him in some leafs of paper.

So, in light of both misinterpretation of the Bible, closing God into the Bible, and my new-found discovery of God in my DVD collection, it stings to have a book (Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson) say this:

"We are in danger of succumbing to the widespread setting-aside of the Holy Scriptures and the replacing of them with the text of our own experience - our needs and wants and feelings - for authoritative direction in our day-to-day living".

I don't think I have disagreed with anything Eugene Peterson has said in the opening chapters, it just feels very Protestant to me - Father, Son and Holy Scriptures. On some level I'm not quite sure what bothers me so much, when I know that my relationship with God suffers if I don't read his word every day. I think it just brings up all the old issues I've had with the Bible, which to some degree I have glossed over with my experience of God, such as reading about him in fantastic redemption stories like that of the Simple Way.

There is one feeling that, if it were up to me, I would never feel again: the feeling that praying and reading my Bible and telling people about God is just a willing suspension of disbelief. Like I have to switch off my brain to sing in church. The feeling I get when someone looks at me incredulously when I refuse to accept "Biblical truths" without thinking about them. We can't understand God; so stop trying. Predestination exists, the Bible says so; stop arguing. Abortion is wrong, the Bible says so; stop showing me pregnant rape victims.

The Bible says so; have some faith, Alastair.

Search Me?

2008-02-16T20:44:00.012Z

A couple of months ago I decided it was time I delve further into the Bible, to help me to understand further God's character through his divine revelation. To help me with this, I bought Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson, which is based around Revelation 10.9-10. I have only begun to read the book in the last week, and it has reminded me of a little snag I had forgotten about.

I have major issues with the Bible.

Now to explain, I'm quite the fan of Jesus. I love the Jesus story, I love how he humbled himself to human form, lived a perfect life, was crucified and (according to the Apostles' Creed) descended into hell. I love that he rose again, defeating death, and I love how my willingness to seek his forgiveness gives me life now and life eternally. I love the message of peace that Jesus brings, I believe it has a lot to say about the war mentality of certain leaders and nations; I love how he demands that we feed the poor, clothe the naked and look after the helpless. All of this resonates with the God that I have come to know for the past six-and-a-half years.

Look outside of the New Testament to small portions of Isaiah, Hosea, Deuteronomy and other books, and you find references to similar justice issues, to the messiah and to God's redemption plan. Look outside of those small passages and be prepared to find a God who is one pissed off, angry judge. He kills his priests for using "unholy" fire at the altar; he sends his Israelite army to chop of the heads of every man, woman and child living in Canaan; when they fail to slaughter every human being, he gets remarkably annoyed, not before rewarding the two spies (Joshua and Caleb) who decided that they must overcome cowardice; with God's help they will murder every last Canaanite and steal their livelihoods!

Jesus is decribed as "the Word" (John 1.1-14). But how can the Jesus of the New Testament be this same Word that is the Old Testament? So he gets angry once in the temple, big deal. I'm not calling Jesus a pacifist, but at the same time, he wasn't killing false prophets, or stoning adulterers. In fact, I think he stepped in to save the life of one adulterous woman.

Have you ever read Psalm 139? Beautiful psalm, we all know it, the "you formed me in my mother's womb, I am fearfully and wonderfully made" stuff. Have you read verses 19-24? Let me show you their exact words:

If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Search me and know my heart? Your heart yearns for people's death, David, have you noticed that?

I'm not saying I don't believe the Bible. I'm just saying that we never question it, we never look at the hard parts, and on the occasion that we do question it, someone with a theology degree gives you some pat answer, like "God is just. We cannot understand his justice."

Sorry, but that does not cut it for me. You can go on blindly, like faithful sheep, but I am going to stop and question the apparent anger, and dare I say it, inhumanity that I see happening time after time in the Old Testament.

My reason tells me that murder is wrong, it says so very early in the Bible; but through faith in God, the Israelites did slay every one of those heathen Philistines, made puppets from their heads and danced merrily until Yom Kippur. I don't understand.

"The Difference Between Compassion and Justice"

2008-02-14T21:10:00.005Z

Check out The Difference Between Compassion and Justice... well worth a read.

Yes We Can

2008-02-11T01:20:00.000Z

Since I heard last year that a black man was planning to run for president, I've been intrigued by Barack Obama. I'm posting this video, not (only) as mindless propaganda, but because I really like this guy and what he stands for.

(Obama's speech on faith) may be the most important pronouncement by a Democrat on faith and politics since John F. Kennedy's Houston speech in 1960 declaring his independence from the Vatican... Obama offers the first faith testimony I have heard from any politician that speaks honestly about the uncertainties of belief.
~ E.J. Dionne, Op-Ed., Washington Post, June 30, 2006

Read his aforementioned 'Call to Renewal' speech on faith, and if his words shake you like they shook me, read his College Affordability speech too; my personal favourite is his speech on Urban Poverty. Outstanding.

With a little more naivety, I would mention comparisons to Luther King and John F Kennedy... but the American press has beaten me to it.

Reverence and Relativism

2008-02-02T00:52:00.000Z

This weekend I'm at a conference called "Mind Your Head", about engaging your brain in Spiritual matters. I need to note my thoughts now before they're replaced with someone else's thoughts.

I find I'm becoming a lot more relativist in my views on Christianity. Don't get me wrong, I believe there are very important truths found in the Bible; but on the contentious minor issues, I find myself saying "what's true for you is true for you; something else is true for me".

Allow me to take an example: corporate worship.
Recently Laura and I had a (heated, apparently) discussion on the topic of one of her theology exam questions: "Are modern church services losing their reverence for God?"

To begin with, I would challenge the definition of "reverence": the noun pertaining to the word "revere". Why do we associate reverence with museums, church services and libraries? I was brought up in the Church of Ireland, with particularly "reverend" church services; lots of quiet sitting, singing, reading responses, listening to sermons, and reading the Bible. This has its place, no doubt; if you're from a more liberal church background, the liturgical format can seem beautiful. But is that how we define the act of revering God?

I don't connect with God sitting in a pew in church, it just doesn't happen for me. I find worship much easier in someone's living room, poring over the Bible and questioning each other's views. I connect with God when I listen to stirring, challenging sermons on my iPod on the way to work. I believe God is creator of all good things - tv shows that make me laugh, films that affirm my existence, stories that inspire me.

Sometimes we do have to remember that, Biblically, we are required to offer a "sacrifice of praise", and to "not give up meeting together, as some have done". I am, however, unamused by the actions of conservative Christians using these verses as little more than an excuse for keeping to the traditional.

Hopefully this is not my attempt to prove myself superior in the world of corporate worship theory (because that negates the idea of relativism - it's strange how true relativism defeats itself by denying truth), but instead I propose this solution: you do your thing, I'll do mine.

Corporate worship, for you, may be all about the standing in rows singing and praying at set times. For me, I will not give up "meeting together", but it will always delight my soul more to be in a more casual community, perhaps as a home group associated with that same church.

Evangelism.
Bible translation.
Baptism.
Pre-destination (that's right, I said pre-destination).

Where Christians argue, I refer to my post below. Why do we have to assume that our interpretation, our opinion, our "Biblical truth", has to be true for the Christian standing closest to us?

Interpretation

2008-02-02T00:47:00.001Z

Something I heard tonight in a seminar:

Science is the interpretation of nature.
The book of nature doesn't lie, but science might.
The book of Scriptures doesn't lie, but theology might.

The Return

2008-01-30T23:55:00.000Z

This is an excerpt from a Rob Bell sermon entitled "Converts to Hell". It is a story told by Marcus Borg, who claims he heard it from Parker Palmer.

Several years ago I was told a story about a three-year-old girl. She was the first-born and only child in her family, but now her mother was pregnant again, and the little girl was very excited about having a new brother or sister. Within a few hours of the parents bringing a new baby boy home from the hospital, the girl made a request: she wanted to be alone with her new brother in his room with the door shut. Her insistence about being alone with the baby with the door shut made her parents a bit uneasy, but then they remembered that they had installed in intercom system in anticipation of the baby’s arrival. So they realised they could let their daughter do this, and if they heard the slightest indication that anything strange was happening, they could be in the baby’s room in an instant. So they let the little girl go into the baby’s room, shut the door, and they raced to the intercom listening station. They heard their daughter’s footsteps moving across the room, imagined her standing over the crib, and then they heard her saying to her three-day-old brother: “Tell me about God; I’ve almost forgotten”.

www.newsgroper.com

2008-01-30T23:46:00.000Z

Hey kids! Love blogs? Love current affairs? Love groping? You're going to love this...

www.newsgroper.com !!

My personal favourites are Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin, and Britney Spears.

Check them out!

Charlie Brown, the real Outkast

2007-12-04T23:02:00.000Z

Only 40 Years Left...

2007-12-04T00:38:00.000Z

9 - 5.30 has sucked me dry.

Since moving to Dublin, the life has been sucked out of me. I have no discipline, I have no passion, I have complete disregard for sin in my life, I have only guilt where I should have compassion, I have only failure where I should have hope.

I walk past homeless people every day, and the sheer number of people needing help drives me crazy, and I can't bring myself to help just one person, so I help no-one. I don't know if throwing money at them will help; I haven't talked to anyone, so I don't know if talking to them will help. I buy sandwiches for lunch, and I reject the idea of sharing them with a hungry person, so I shield my lunch from view as I walk by.

I don't see how my job helps anyone. I know I have all this extra money to give away, but part of me wants to save it, part of me wants to be generous to my friends, part of me resents the Muslims in Sudan who want to kill a schoolteacher for allowing her children to name a teddy bear "Muhammad", and suddenly Darfur loses its pity status in my mind.

Sorry to be disrespectful, I've only been working for a couple of months, but students do not live in the real world. The world I live in demands punctuality, it demands ironed shirts, it demands conformity, productivity and wise career decisions. Work for me has become the stabling centre in my life, because when I'm so upside down, I cling to some form of routine, and work provides that. The rest of my time disappears so quickly cooking, cleaning, ironing, walking to and from work, so every night I go to bed at least an hour too late, no matter how much time I make for myself.

There are few Christians here. I know where to find them, but you don't bump into them walking to the shop. I hear Jesus' name everywhere, but not with respect; don't get me wrong, I'm not a blasphemy nazi, but it becomes wearing after a while.

I've met cool people, but I'm not a student any more, so I can't meet new people then hang out in their house til 3am. My social circles are growing at a snail's pace. I have collected 5 phone numbers in 2 months, 1 of which is my flatmate in case I get locked out.

Occasionally I seriously think about getting some ink seared into my flesh, or some metal through my face, just to be different, just to feel non-conformist. I'd get fired if I refused to remove facial piercings. I even worry about what I write in my blog, in case I piss off the man for not fitting the mould.

And you know what? I'm quite content. Apart from the daily struggle with walking past the homeless people, and the postponing spending time with God until it's too late to reasonably justify not sleeping, my life zips by in a fairly comfortable, music filled contentment. I retain my drive to be an ethical shopper, I coccoon myself into my iPod bubble to and from work, and I take in films which affirm my existence. I have developed a penchant for a bottle of cider, mostly pear Kopperberg, and I don't care if it's a girls' drink, it goes into a pint glass, so it feels manly. My girlfriend loves me, and I love her. Laura does remind me about Jesus though, which can be uncomfortable.

Getting my life sorted as a child of God requires becoming discontent again. But I know I'll do it.

*Sigh*.

Free Rice

2007-11-12T22:56:00.000Z

Check this out (with thanks to Sophie for finding it)...

Also, check out the Free Rice discussion here... be sure to scroll down through the comments.

Lyrebird

2007-11-12T01:46:00.001Z

This is just about the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.

Square Peg, Round Hole

2007-11-07T22:48:00.000Z

Censorship

2007-10-29T23:10:00.000Z

As much as I love this comic, I know that I need to be careful, from a legal position, about what I write in reference to my employment.

In order to allow myself greater freedom of speech, I have removed the name of my employer from my blog; please refrain from using the name of my employer, I will delete your comments.

The Boy Who Cried WoMD?

2007-10-25T20:58:00.000+01:00

I don't count myself particularly political, but the latest news on the US-Iran situation sounds strangely familiar, don't you think?

"US imposes new sanctions on Iran"

Ms Rice accused Iran of a litany of abuses, including pursuing technologies "that can lead to a nuclear weapon", building ballistic missiles, and spurning peace talks.

On an unrelated topic (honest), oil reached its highest ever price in the last week, at over $90 a barrel.

I wonder... does Iran have any oil?

Do Dubya, Rice and company honestly think the West will support another rape-and-pillage operation? You've done it twice already, Georgie, and you haven't even completed two terms. If Iran are capable of blowing this earth to pieces, you've ruined it for everyone. You've cried wolf too often.

Le Fils d'Homme

2007-10-22T18:37:00.001+01:00

Damn Swampies!

2007-10-15T22:29:00.000+01:00

This is an article published in today's 'Metro', a Dublin morning newspaper:

Get a life, says O'Leary

RYANAIR boss Michael O'Leary has launched
another foul-mouthed attack at environmental
campaigners - telling them to 'get a job and a
f**king life'. As he unveiled three new routes to
France he added: 'The biggest polluter is the
f**king government.' He also said that despite the
industry's best environmental efforts 'it won't stop
the Swampies of this world climbing up trees to
protest about airlines and airports'. Campaign group
Stop Bristol Airport Expansion (SBAE) said the lives
of people living nearby will be blighted by extra
flights that would damage the environment.

Damn Swampies...

Week 1 - Exhaustion!

2007-10-06T01:40:00.000+01:00

I am exhausted. How people manage to haul themselves onto dancefloors on weekends after working 9 - 5.30 all week, I honestly can't fathom.

Granted, I haven't slept properly and I'm far from used to 7.30 starts, but this week was tougher than I thought it would be.

I've met some great people, Amy and Peter in particular have been great to me. I was at a party tonight which I heard about through their small group, I must say it was a very cool party. At a modern hotel venue in the centre, they had a whole "room" booked, which had it's own bar, lots of seating space, but it was long and thin, so to get from one end of the room to the other, you had to negotiate a gauntlet. I like the familiarity of having to push through people with a drink in your hand, it's like the universal mark of a good bar.

I gathered that said party was filled with Christians from UCD and TCD, making it effectively like the end of Queen's CU, only with very loud music and more alcohol. At Queen's I would have loved it, all my friends chilling out at a giant party, but being in Dublin, it wasn't easy for me, since I knew only a couple of folks. I'm slowly building up contacts, who'll hopefully become my friends, but I'm trying to keep myself from imposing on anyone by lingering at their side all night.

I guess it all comes with a new home. New job, new city, new people. Same God, though.

Baile Átha Cliath

2007-10-01T00:09:00.000+01:00

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4020523.stm

So this survey may have been done 3 years ago, but even so... go Dublin.

I'll write an update when I've gotten over the feeling of disorienting isolation...

Jonny, Jonny...

2007-09-30T23:14:00.000+01:00

Jonny Neale, in reply to his mother's worries that he would destroy his degree certificate if he brought it into work to prove he actually passed his degree:

"Well I plan to first sit on it on the train, then set my coffee on it and maybe put it through the shredder for the craic."

What a legend.

Reality Check

2007-09-20T01:09:00.000+01:00

I spent the day in Dublin today, viewing various houses, again, but today thankfully a nice landlord took pity on me and letted a room to me. Phew. It's above a pub and beside a greyhound track, so if you're looking to expand your addictions to alcohol and gambling, I can hook you up. (It looks nothing like the picture, by the way).

So, all of a sudden, reality is kicking in. Previously, I had only the thoughts of having to live in a dungeon, or of picking myself off a friend's floor before turning up at work unwashed and unshaven. Now my mind is flooded with thoughts of briefcases, in-trays and overtime. Jonny, who started his accounting career a couple of weeks ago, is complaining about the resulting pain of shaving every day. I'm considering buying moisturiser.

I bought two new suits yesterday, plus two new pairs of shoes. Considering also the money I put down on my accomodation, I feel like a huge sellout already. Frick. I took pictures of my purchases, but I can't put them on my PC til I get my old phone back. Needless to say I look painfully sharp.

T minus two weeks!

2007-09-17T19:56:00.000+01:00

In two weeks today I start work in Dublin... and I have nowhere to live. Fantastic. If any of you readers (about three of you, I reckon) have any ideas, swing them my way... otherwise I'm heading back to Dublin on Wednesday to convince some (more) people that they really want a lovable Northern guy living with them.

House Hunting

2007-09-10T02:45:00.001+01:00

So apparently I'm moving to Dublin before the month is out, so I can sell out to the man. In order to make this possible, I need somewhere to park my stuff.

So, I hit my favourite (only) Irish property website, and started to send some emails in reply to some adverts. I found this handy function on the website which sent my emails back to me, as well as to the advertiser, and this also told me how many eager-beaver househunters had previously replied to said advert.

I kid you not, for one place I was sucker number 262.

Two hundred and sixty-two.

I'm so gonna be homeless.

Standards of Success

2007-09-08T02:02:00.000+01:00

"Did you see anyone's life really changed in Ibiza?"

I was asked the above question tonight, and I started fumbling around, trying to recall if anyone I met was visibly closer to trusting Jesus thanks to my time in Ibiza. I mentioned a few people in stalling: a family we helped move house, a girl who couldn't talk about God without crying on the street in front of me, people who asked us for Bibles.

In answering a question posed to him at a Q&A session at Mars Hill Bible Church, Rob Bell answered:
"We are always telling people about Jesus. We are telling people about Jesus with our actions, and we are telling people about Jesus with our inaction. So we are always evangelising; we are always announcing who Jesus is; and we are always communicating, through everything we do, whether we believe the tomb is empty or not."

In Ibiza I had to learn that if we picked someone out of their own piss, crap and vomit (and believe me, it happened) and left them sleeping on their hotel bed, it didn't matter if they remembered any of it in the morning. It only matters that God wanted it to happen, it only matters that we did it because God is a loving God, and he doesn't want his daughter lying in a gutter to be robbed, or worse.

So I may not have seen anyone's life transformed, but I really did see God do some amazing things.

Brian Heasley regularly summed up our Ibiza mission statement,

"We're here to bless, not to sell".
Amen.

Blaze of Glory

2007-09-04T22:49:00.000+01:00

Before I left Ibiza, I told Ben about how I couldn't possibly tell my church about everything that I did in Ibiza. They'd be fine with some of it, but worshipping in the clubs, dancing with drug users, giving workers condoms and Messages with "Jesus Loves Porn Stars" on the front would all be more than contentious issues.

"Go out in a blaze of glory!" Ben suggested.

I'm moving to Dublin in the next month, so naturally I'll be changing churches, and to be honest, if I return to Northern Ireland, I won't return to my church. I love my church; I can see how important it has been to my Christian growth, I've met people who have shaped my view of Christianity, and I've found a home with friends who accept me for who I am.

However, I feel as though my church has exhausted what it can offer me, except the (extremely valuable) prayer I know will go with me as I leave. I know that church is not about what I can get from it, but I feel that I have given a lot to the church, through my service with Youth Fellowhip, CE, the Holiday Bible Club, and 5 Day Clubs. I honestly feel as though my church doesn't cater for the style of service I feel called to, nor the brand of Christianty I feel drawn to, if that makes sense in a non-cultish way.

I do worry, however, that whenever I find a church in Dublin that suits what I feel God is calling me into, I'll eventually suss out the speaker's main topics, exhaust the excitement factor of the ministry, and begin to long for something different.

Thinking about this, though, I remember what Brian Heasley said to me when I asked him about his plans for 24-7 Ibiza within the next year:

"It's never good to be standing still. We need to be always watching for the next step."
Although I can only paraphrase what Brian said, it started me thinking about change. In his recent blog entry, Growth, he mentions a couple of quotations:

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."
~ Mark V Hansen

"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving."
~ Oliver Wendall Holmes

I think I know what is best for me, and you know, I'm probably right. I probably am called to live in a Christian community that shares its possessions with each other member and the poor around them; I probably am called to be a bread winner for that kind of community, and until I get to that position financially I should find a ministry that allows me to work with the homeless and less fortunate communities, while also being in a nurturing small group.

But just as a few years ago, what I needed was a Christian male rolemodel, a group of friends to share my final teenage years with and opportunities to flex my Christian service muscles, in a few years time, what I require could be completely different.

So I'm willing to be taken into whatever situation God wants me. My experience in Ibiza allowed me to see that the kind of Christianity I had dreamed of could actually exist, in flesh, before my eyes. It was a very exciting and liberating time for me. Becky, Ben and Heather prayed for me one night in the prayer room at the West End, and they got a sense of excitement over my life. That excites me so much more than it must have excited them, the thought that God has huge things in store for me!

I guess I'm going somewhere, and they say that you need to know where you're coming from to know where you're going.

Dave

2007-09-04T22:11:00.000+01:00

I have protected Dave's real identity, for reasons you will discover.

The West End of San Antonio, Ibiza, has the highest density of clubs and bars per square mile of anywhere in Europe. I wasn’t finding this particular evening on the West End in very fruitful; I saw a couple of guys I could have approached, but I decided against it and wished I’d had the guts to stop Helen and walk over to one or the other. Nonetheless, we kept walking out along the seafront, before buying some goodies and heading back to the West End.

We noticed a guy lying on a side street, off the main sea front, surrounded by three guys and looking worse for wear.

“He’s not with us”, they said. “We picked him off the road, he nearly got his legs run over!”

The guy was called Dave, and Dave had pissed himself with his shorts around his knees. The three guys with him told me their names, but I’ve forgotten. They might have been angels, although if they were, they were doing more business in the West End the next night, where I filled them in on what was to follow.

“This is what happens when you do pills, Dave. Stay off the pills!” said one of the angels. This angel was from Birmingham. Dave was a physics student at Oxford, apparently unable to handle the amount of ecstasy in his body.

After we explained who we are and what we do, Tracy arrived with the people carrier and the angels helped us load Dave into the back, which was no mean feat, considering he had changed his mind about wanting to go back to his hotel, and was about 6’4 and reasonably built.

Thankfully Dave was at peace with his new, moving, surroundings, but shared with us a fear of crashing, since apparently last time he was in Ibiza, he was in a car crash and spent time recovering in the hospital in Ibiza town. I’m quite a trusting guy, so I believed him, despite his current state.

Upon arrival at his hotel, Dave managed to give the security guard his key-card, granting only two of our team access with him. While I supported much of his weight, we found the lifts about a brief excursion around the lobby with Dave swearing he knew where the stairs were.

“Are you coming in?” Dave continued to ask, excitedly.
“Sorry Dave, once we get you to your room, we have to go back to work” we explained.

Here’s a free lesson for you: if you’re taking a friendly guy on ecstasy back to his room, tell him you’re going to stay and party. Dave didn’t really want his night to end. Helen managed to hurry him along the corridor by running in front of him, but he began to bang on doors, clearly having too good a time to end the night this early. On turning the final into the final corridor, where his room was at the end, a fire hose reel sat behind a “break glass in case of emergency” window. Naturally Dave, aggressive and looking for his night to become even more fun, swung his fist at it.

“You’re in trouble now, buddy” said Helen, angrily. I stood at a distance, a little shocked and trying not to tread on glass in my sandals.

We got the door open, quite relieved our job was done, until:

“You’re bleeding. Can you see you’re bleeding? What are we going to do now?”

Dave was clearly bleeding, all over the floor, up the door, on the counter, down the walls. While I remained with him, Helen ran for help and medical supplies.

“Are you coming in? Come in!” shouted Dave, quite menacingly and taking a swipe for me with his bloody hand.
“You find the light and I’ll come in”, I said nervously, keeping out of his reach.

Swipe.

“It’s right here, come in!”

Swipe.

There’s something pitiful about watching a grown man, shorts once again round his knees, pass out over an open suitcase, creating a pool of blood on the floor. I don’t think I’ll forget the feeling I had, standing holding the door open to a dark room, where I could hear the breathing and other strange noises of a man I could have been helping. I knew first aid; all I had to do was find the light, take one of his t-shirts, wrap it around the wounds on his hand, elevate the hand, and wait for more qualified help to arrive.

Instead, I stood outside, allowing the door to shut far enough so that he might forget I was standing nearby if he awoke. I was sure I knew what Jesus would have done, what a better man might have done, but there I stood, telling myself he hadn’t cut a major artery and therefore wasn’t going to bleed to death. I didn’t want to touch his blood; I didn’t even want to put myself within arm’s reach of the guy.

My thoughts of severe blood loss were overestimated; Helen returned with a first aid kit and rubber gloves, cleaning him up and preliminarily bandaging the wound, while I stood around awkwardly, only able to help with discovering that the lights worked on a key-card system.

The chief security guard arrived, clearly unhappy that another drunk Englishman had vandalised the hotel on his watch. It turns out that some Ibicenco hotels have an endearing policy to only call doctors from private clinics, meaning that Dave had to decide both whether he needed a doctor and whether he wanted to pay for a doctor. Not surprisingly, he decided he was fine and we were ordered to leave; our jurisdiction had expired. We reluctantly left Dave on the floor, perfectly anaesthetised to his wound until the drugs wore off.

If he had been in better condition, we could have taken him to the hospital for free treatment thanks to his European Health Card. No doubt when he woke up in the morning he decided it best to get seen to, despite having absolutely no recollection of the night before.

Ibiza Stories

2007-09-04T21:58:00.001+01:00

Donald Miller writes about how Christianity is more than a bunch of guidelines in a book, or a list of requirements to be safe from God’s wrath. He claims that the Bible is His-story, a book full of parables, poems, love letters and word pictures.

So if God uses a huge book to get his story across, I figure the best way to share my thoughts about Ibiza is to tell the stories I found myself in.

Summer Mission

2007-08-10T16:42:00.000+01:00

Since this summer is, effectively, my last free summer to serve God on camps and missions, I decided to go big. Oh yes. Not just Livewire this year, oh no, although I did do Livewire again. I actually stretched to a CSSM, and I'm waiting on next weekend to roll around so I can head off to Ibiza with 24-7 prayer. How awesome!

Livewire looked something similar to how it does every year:

Nuff said.

So this is pretty much what happens in Ibiza...

I cannot wait... it's gonna be awesome!

Graduation (to the Real World)

2007-08-10T15:53:00.000+01:00

Simply because I'm bored of seeing my previous post, I'm going to write a new one...

Apparently, I was intrigued about the benefits of living on the dole, but now I have a job, starting in Dublin in October. I'll be working as a graduate trainee corporate banker, thank you very much, at the (text removed). It looks something like this:

(picture removed)

My gaining of a job implies that yes, I did graduate, and somehow I managed to scrape a first class degree in the process. Check me out:

In other news, last night I listened to a fantastic sermon by Dr Greg Boyd, entitled "Christos Victor", preached from Mars Hill Bible Church, but sadly it has just disappeared off their podcast and website. It's about how Jesus came to defeat Satan first and foremost, to restore to God's kingdom what of earth is now within Satan's kingdom. He focuses somewhat on how our individualistic view of Jesus dying for our personal sin is true, but needs to opened up to a more wholistic view of redemption. If you want it, ask me and I can attempt to send you the mp3. Outstanding, I thought.

EDIT: for legal purposes

Job-seekers Allowance

2007-04-27T12:36:00.000+01:00

Apparently if you're on the dole, you can get your pets spayed for free!!!

Amazing!!

James 5 - "The Prayer of Faith"

2007-04-21T17:42:00.000+01:00

I do have something interesting to say after all.

Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
Elijah was a man just like us. He prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and a half years. Again he prayed, and the heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.
~ James 5.13-18

I was puzzling over this passage today, until I came across the following Bible commentary. Not that I'm a commentary buff, but this is definitely the best commentary I've ever read. If you have time to sit and study it, you will be incredibly blessed. It explains carefully the angle from which James comes at the passage, with the search for righteousness as a parallel to the power of an individual's prayer. Outstanding:

"Instead, Pray" - www.biblegateway.com

Enjoy!

Pulse

2007-04-21T02:41:00.000+01:00

Just so you know I'm still alive... my pulse as of a few minutes ago is 67 beats per minute.

I could have blogged about Ards, or Easter, or Benone and Mussenden with Jonny, Austin, Allie and Claire... but I didn't.

Maybe I'll have something interesting to say soon.

The Great Global Warming Swindle

2007-03-24T17:28:00.000Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6IPHmJWmDk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S1DujZ8P98
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Whwgq3Y59WE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyj5oX83PlA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HA_omTEx-Q
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZvvSp2CAnQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=90Di4DxHG4c
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlvBnLa7r2I

This documentary is very interesting - basically it flips the common view of global warming on its head. It never denies global warming - it denies that the increase of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere is the cause of the increase in temperature of the earth.

Do not assume that I believe this - I merely think it is a very interesting watch, and if their statements can be proven true, means radical implications in the way our entire society views global warming.

Nor do I deny the importance of caring for our world - I am no less convinced of the need to be environmentally conscious, and of course, energy does need to be conserved, we are fast running out of fossil fuel. The last part also sickened me - it was a blatant hiding away from our responsibility to the developing world - they will NOT become self sufficient by using electricity! There was no suggestion that we could use renewable energy while Africa uses non-renewable, there was simply this myth that electricity would solve everyone's problems. I think you'll find that more people are dying of starvation than smoke pollution!

300 and more...

2007-03-24T00:14:00.000Z

Tonight I went to the cinema to watch 300.

Despite being hugely over-hyped, I enjoyed it. I kind of want to go spear someone in the neck now.

In other news, I've been rejected from two more graduate schemes (go me), but I think that one may have been due to the fact that I forgot they had already rejected me, and only take one application per 12 months. Oops.

I'm still reading The Irresistible Revolution, and I'm really struggling to find where the ethos of the book fits into my life. It pierces me, excites me, frustrates me - in short, I know God is speaking to me through it - I just don't know how it fits with me right now, how I'm supposed to repond!

Hmmm... that's all for now!

Glasgae!

2007-03-11T19:45:00.000Z

Connor and I are just back from a trip to Glasgow, to support our friend Ross during his installation as youth pastor in Netherlee Church of Scotland. I didn't take any photos, but here are a couple of excellent videos Connor put together. Enjoy!

Day 1:

Days 2 & 3:
When Connor mutes me in the dolly mixture scene, the dialogue went like this:
Me: "By the way, Lorraine (Connor's girlfriend), Connor said an American girl in our hostel was hot!"
Connor: "I'm gonna get in so much trouble!"

Je joue au badminton

2007-03-07T00:27:00.000Z

Jamesie and I are currently enjoying a series of games of badminton, in which, surprisingly, I have a chance.

This is Jamesie:

He's the #1 for the Queen's thirds. And available, ladies.

This is badminton:

Note that this man is neither Jamesie nor me.

Currently the scores sit as follows:

Tuesday 28th Feb

Alastair 21 - 9 Jamesie

Tuesday 6th March

A 21 - 19 J
A 17 - 21 J

Watch this space!

Red Moon Rising

2007-03-07T00:00:00.000Z

Over every generation, a red moon will rise...

And afterward,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.

Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days.

I will show wonders in the heavens
and on the earth,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.

The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD.

And everyone who calls
on the name of the LORD will be saved;
for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem
there will be deliverance,
as the LORD has said,
among the survivors
whom the LORD calls.

~ Joel 2.28-32

Picture taken by Connor on Saturday night (while I flitted between the moon and MotD).
For more photos, see Connor's blog on the sidebar.
http://connormcc.wordpress.com
http://www.cmc-photos.co.uk

"Lord, Lord"?

2007-03-02T12:17:00.000Z

"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord', and not do what I say?" ~ Luke 6.46

Last night I sat through a song entitled "Spirit of the Sovereign Lord" while dozens of Christians around me sang loudly and with fervour. I wanted to smash my chair against the wall.
The song is taken from Isaiah 61.1-2, the verses Jesus then takes upon himself, I guess as some sort of 'mission statement' in Luke 4.18-19.

"This is the year of the favour of the Lord" we cry out.
"He has sent you to the poor"
"To bind the broken hearted"
"To bring freedom to the captives"
"To release the ones in darkness!"

I think I've heard something like this before. Now, if you're not familar with the "Year of Jubilee", it was a year that God had designated, every 50 years, when every one of his people (then the Israelites) were to go back to to the original piece of land Joshua had divided among the people when they entered the "promised land". The general idea was this: if you had become poor through a bad business decision, or laziness, and ended up having to scrounge for your next meal, in the 50th year, you were given back what you had lost (well, your land anyhow). It might have been too late for you to really enjoy it, but your children were given a clean slate.

Basically the year of Jubilee prevented gross materialism and gross poverty. This is what I believe to be the year of the favour of the Lord.

It is not enough to recognise that we are materially wealthy. It is not enough to cut back on chocolate for lent and give the money to charity. It is not enough to tithe. (Although, these are good places to start). We can fill our bedrooms, our houses, our stomachs with stuff we don't need in the slightest, and yet we always mange to justify it to ourselves. Try justifying it to one of these people:

"This is the year of the vengeance of our God".
If God is taking property away in the Jubilee to give to the poor people, if the cruel, hard-hearted, full-bellied rich people are going to be subject to God's vengeance - I'd rather not be singing about it, I'll be trying to put right the fact that God's vengeance is going to fall on me.

If you are going to sing about the year of the favour of the Lord, you'd better be prepared to follow it through by making it happen, otherwise you'll be embracing the vengeance of the Lord. While there are people dying in disgusting slums from Calcutta to Rio, we sit idly by and occasionally drop a tenner into a charity box or give a fiver to the orphan appeal. It's not about singing louder, or feeling closer to Jesus in a song... it's about obeying his words. The words of God cannot get any clearer than this:

"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free

and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter -
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry,
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday."
~ Isaiah 58.6-10.

Out in the Cold

2007-02-28T16:30:00.000Z

These are my keys, perched atop Joel's CD player:

This is where I accidentally left my keys, when I decided to do my shopping today. This is the view that greeted me when I rang the doorbell:

Exactly. On the one occasion I forget my keys, all five of my housemates are out. I had stuff to go into the fridge and the freezer, and I'm sure it's so cold that they're better sitting outside than in a friend's house. My open bedroom window was frustratingly out of reach:

Eventually I texted my housemates to plead with them to come home and let me in, and Keith agreed to walk halfway from the MBC to give me his key. So off I trundled down the Lisburn road, hands numb from the cold, carrying my ever thawing and heavy bags of shopping. Some mockery and keys were exchanged, and I finally made it into the house...

... only to discover that I was overcharged for my groceries.

Cheese Fight

2007-02-26T02:42:00.000Z

Below is the result when someone brings the most foul smelling cheese to a quiet birthday gathering.

Happy birthday John, have some cheese in the face.

Glad You Asked

2007-02-26T02:02:00.000Z

It turns out that the "Glad You Asked" course will not be starting on Tuesday night, as I had previously mentioned, but on Wednesday 28th Feb, 2.30pm in the Students' Union. If you can contain yourself, I'll tell you the exact venue tomorrow.

The Physiological Byproducts of Psychological Experiments

2007-02-22T01:28:00.000Z

Today was fun! I began by sleeping through class, not a particularly sensible decision, but I did make it out of bed in time to eat breakfast, if only half an hour before lunch in the Oasis.

I followed up lunch by volunteering myself to set up a prayer group for Glad You Asked, a forum for people without a Christian faith to discuss thoughts on Christianity. It's taking place in the Queen's area, first meeting is on Tuesday 27th Feb at Elder's house, 7ish. If you're interested, in praying, or going, or bringing your friends along, drop me a comment or email me, I'll get you hooked up. If you don't like me very much, but would still like more information about the forum at Queen's, go to qubcu.com, or email Hollie. The prayer group will be at a different time to the group itself, because I have badminton, and will last for no longer than a half hour or so.

At 4, I contributed to the world of psychological research, also fattening my wallet by £10, by participating in a PhD experiment. Using various psychological methods, I was enduced into a state of "elation", then monitored in a driving simulation testing my breathing, heart rate, pituary behaviour and driving performance as I reacted to distraction tasks, slow moving traffic and deep fog. Only 5 electrodes, and 1 belt around my chest, bonus!

So that put me in quite a good mood. My evening consisted of eating 2 mini pizzas, before playing for Queen's Badminton Club for the first time. The C team welcomed me like one of their own, and we defeated some other team (whose name was hard to pronounce, never mind remember) 7-1 on "matches". Best feeling of the day was coming back from 0-1 on games to win 2-1 in the mixed doubles, winning the 3rd game 22-20 from 17-20 down. Oh yes.

Pro Evo 6 then happened, along with some apple juice and singing. Charles is in charge of our days and our nights, you know.

I was planning to go downstairs and watch a film on our ridiculously small tv, but it is after 2am, and I did miss class this morning because I was at a pancake party til 3am... I think I'll stick to eating my pre-bedtime Coco Pops right here..

Some pancake party fun:

Graveyard Shift

2007-02-13T04:25:00.000Z

So here I am, 04.25, supervising the prayer room, letting people and and out, making sure the place doesn't burn down, that kind of thing. Been here since 11, leaving at 9. I'm getting kind of hungry actually, maybe some cereal will be in order in a while. It's also pretty cold, there's a noisy heater on at my feet, but I have to keep turning it off when I'm watching One Tree Hill, which is loading in the background. It's an episode that I've managed to watch most of on two separate occasions, but I'm finally getting to see the father vs. son charity game. Yes I am 3 series behind you.

Was talking to Ben earlier in America, he seems to be doing ok, he finally got back on MSN. We chatted about doing inter-railing around Europe in the summer, it sounds really good. I'd love to do the sight-seeing places, like Italy, Greece, Czech Republic, but I'll see how the planning goes. That could be very cool.

I'm also extremely open to overseas mission this summer, which reminds me: I totally forgot that the CU were having in the missionary organisations in tonight. I decided not to go, since I left the library at 6.30 and was coming here at 11. Well, looks like I'll have to ask around, see what's going.

I worked all day today for a project that counts for nothing. It's due at 11, and I haven't even finished it yet, I'll have to do that after I watch One Tree Hill. Man this heater feels good.

In other news, I bought Broken Sword I and II for a total of £5 on Saturday, so I've been making my way through the first game, it is top notch, it really is. I left it at a point where I was stuck, I think I just need to get my wet towel to its destination quicker: it had dried when I got to the plaster of paris powder.

I don't remember if I mentioned that I bought High School Musical, but yes, I bought High School Musical on Saturday also, it is legendary. No, wait, I remember, I did mention it. It's worth two mentions!

I put a ban on myself buying clothes and music for the next 3 months, until May. Most of my money goes on either CDs, clothes and food, so I figure it's reasonable to cut back on 2 of the 3 - well, I need to eat. The irony is, I've found a CD that I really would like, it's the second One Tree Hill soundtrack, it sounds fantastic. I listened to snippets of the first album, and I was very disappointed; they seem to have their act together on the second album though. "Halo" is an amazing song.

Back to the One Tree Hill-age.

Technological advances? Pfft.

2007-02-07T11:48:00.000Z

Our TV gave up the ghost last night, very disappointing. This means we can't watch TV, play the PlayStation or watch DVDs. I downloaded a DVD decoder for my PC to remedy the no-DVD-watching situation, only to remember that my DVD drive can't play CDs without skipping, never mind DVDs - so my "The OC" DVDs became redundant very quickly. I then resorted to streaming some programmes from the internet, just to pass the time... and now I'm addicted to One Tree Hill.

I should really take pictures of the offending TV and DVD drive, would make it much more like a real blog - but I'm sitting in the Maths building at Uni waiting for my 12pm to start. Maybe when I get home.

De-privatisation...

2007-02-06T02:49:00.000Z

So I decided to make my blog public again. I only had a couple of posts I didn't want to share, so I deleted them, no big loss. My entourage will be overjoyed.

I watched High School Musical the other night, it is freaking legendary! I kind of want to buy it, I might even make an excursion into town tomorrow if I could be bothered.

I got my exam results back too, which were great to be honest. The only down side is that now I have to bust a gut and give up my Easter holidays to see if I can come away with a first class degree. That would be sweet, I'd be... employable, maybe.

Today I spent most of my day helping finish the latest version of the Aldersgate prayer room, doing bits and pieces, like making a Hollywood walkway of Biblical characters, named as men of God in the Bible. I then had a Starbucks when Leanne got locked out of the TOM flat (hehe), and half watched a Michael Douglas movie, The American President I think. Luckily someone changed the channel after a while.

Phil Togwell is speaking in Stranmillis CU tomorrow night, but I can't make it since I'm going to a Tearfund event entitled "Invest for Life", about how we use our money. I figure there's at least a possibility of earning some money next year, I should learn how to look after the pennies. It means I also am missing badminton, which is a shame since I was playing well last week, and exercise hasn't really been my priority this year. I thought spending £100 on my PEC membership was a good idea... at least I can put it down on job applications!

No no no, stick to the stuff you know...

New Top Ten Films

2007-01-19T02:05:00.000Z

Since I have managed to watch six of my top ten (although I'd like to watch The Constant Gardener again, didn't really catch it), I thought I'd update my list to include a few more.
That's all.

Proper Crimbo

2006-12-26T01:00:00.000Z

I can't get that stupid phrase out of my head... Proper Crimbo, Selecta!

Christmas was good, I guess. I spent a lot of the day worrying about my dissertation, a lot of it eating junk food, and almost all of it in front of the fire watching tv. I had to go for a 20 minute walk outside after midnight to clear my head a little.

I'm grateful for what I have, I definitely am. It's just... I don't want to live this way. I have this slightly unsatisfied feeling after Christmas day, and I know that hundreds of pounds were spent in this household. For what? I don't want this lavish a Christmas. I don't even want this lavish a lifestyle, to be honest. It's not like we're really rich... it's just, I think our money goes on the wrong stuff, you know.

I was wondering earlier if I like the thought of living a simpler lifestyle because I want to see others have a better quality of life, or whether I really want to find freedom from materialism etc, or whether I just like being a... little socialist.
I guess I'll find out when I actually get to the point where I'm making and spending my own money. I know, at the same time, that I can't leave my decisions at till that point; I have a life now, and changes need to come now. First, I need to take that self-discipine given to me (2 Tim 1.7) and use it to sort out my sleeping and working over the next few days, The next week, until New Year, is crucial to both my dissertation and my January exam. And therefore to my degree. And therefore to my life. Realise the implications Alastair!

So I need to keep focussing on building up a habit of spending a good lump of my time reading my Bible and sharing myself with God in prayer. Last night I was thinking about how becoming an ordinary radical can be as simple as praying - how difficult is that really? Anyhow, apparently it takes 3 weeks to build a habit. And, incidentally, my exams end in 3 weeks, and I know how important it is to keep my thoughts focussed on God at exam time, because it can be so easy to get angry and frustrated. Those feelings lead to actions I would regret.

So I need to go read about Paul in Athens. I think it's about Mars Hill, where he reasons with the philosophers. I love how he does that; at times here, I'm told that I can't reason (in public anyway) with certain people because it's giving the devil his say. I think that's ridiculous... but now is now time for stressing about that debate. Mars Hill awaits...

2 nights, 2 films.

2006-10-22T00:57:00.000+01:00

So... 2 nights, 2 films.

Last night I went to see The Last Kiss, which I have been rather impatiently awaiting for the last number of months. It was the opening night, it was showing in the smallest screen, and there must have been a maximum of 30 people there. I mean, come on people! Did you not watch Garden State??
It was a little different than I expected it to be. I knew it wasn't going to be a Scrubs-esque Zach Braff comedy, but I guess I expected it to be light-hearted, to have a sort of Garden State feel-good...ness... to it, or something.

It didn't.

I couldn't believe how deeply, emotionally, it connected with me. I could feel so much of what he was going through; I won't embelish too much, information is power and all that, but there is one scene, where having just made a date with a college girl, he receives a call from his pregnant girlfriend of 3 years, wanting to know why he's forgotten about their baby's sonogram. He hangs up, then sitting in his car, screams,
"what the f*ck am I doing, what the f*ck am I doing?!"

I understood, even if on a smaller scale, how, he felt at that exact moment. Exhilaration, followed by complete disgust at himself.

Anyhow, I have to say I connected a little less with tonight's DVD, Brokeback Mountain. Still, it was genuinely tender, and did provoke a feeling of loss at the end. The screenwriters were brave and poignant, it deserved its acclamation.

I have a top 10 list of films to see, which I think I'll attempt to put up on the side of my blog, if it ever lets me.

I wish I could quit you.

My day off. Ish.

2006-10-17T12:34:00.000+01:00

I have a lot of work on, really, I do. This morning, however, I decided to give myself a break and chill out. I slept in a little, discovered (whilst in the cold shower) that someone had turned the heating timer off at the wall, meaning no hot water. So then I watched some Scrubs to cheer myself up. In a while, I plan to go to Tesco to do a weekly shop. I'm most looking forward to Coco Pops. And Munch Bunch. Munch Bunch are 2 for 1 at the moment apparently, I should thank Adam for that tip-off. Oh, I also have to fight for space in our fridge, it appears my shelf has been commandeered.
This afternoon I have a 2 hour practical to do some stuff I should have easily done in the last week, but somehow I managed to not fit it in. Then I have a 2 hour class, in which I'll struggle to hear a word said, and I'll fidget for the entire 120 minutes in the strangely uncomfortable chairs.
This evening I'll go to the badminton club, scrabble for courts, play worse than I had hoped, and walk home, dejected, at a snail's pace. To top it all off, I'll stop in to a girl's birthday party smelling of exercised man, although hopefully I'll be late enough to have my smell blend in with the general smell of the party.
Even though I'm sure my day sounds like the most fun you've ever had with clothes on, today will be a good day. I just hope I don't run into my dissertation advisor. Oh that would be bad...

New life

2006-10-16T02:55:00.000+01:00

So I found out tonight that a close friend of mine became a Christian a few nights ago. That's never happened to me before. It somewhat astounded me to be honest. I was sitting on her bed; she gave me a letter she had written to God and asked me to read it, and by the end of it I knew she had given her life to him. I just stared, I had no idea how to react. Something beautiful and special had taken place, and I just stared. I'm sure she loved the warm welcome into God's kingdom.
The way things worked out have left me lost for words. I honestly have never had a weirder two weeks, two weeks absent of God, and full of God. I guess he was there all along; I just missed him whilst being wrapped up in myself.

Update

2006-10-15T17:43:00.000+01:00

So it's clear to see that I haven't updated this in a while. I've had a lot on my plate to be honest; perhaps blogging here would have helped me sort through some of the stuff, but it's hard to be honest with other people reading this, when I'm lying to myself.
My life of late has consisted of starting back to Uni, discovering a final year workload, a relationship break-up, taking up new hobbies, and taking over co-leadership of youth fellowship at my church, amongst other things. Next on the agenda is catching up on my final year workload, fitting in careers fairs and employer presentations, and hopefully forcing my way on to the badminton squad. Where there's a will...

Idealism

2006-09-03T22:41:00.000+01:00

Ideals are strange. We're driven by our thoughts of the ideal: our ideal body, ideal job, ideal house, partner, family, car, dog, hairstyle. So ideals can be a good thing; they stimulate a response in us to aspire to the things that we need, the things we would like, the things we crave. Lance Armstrong probably would consider it ideal that he beat cancer however many times in however many places, and won the Tour de France, again. Inspiring, no doubt.
What I find about the ideal is that I never make it there. I aim for something, I fall short, I feel like crap. Aim, fall, crap, aim, fall, crap. I think that's the same for most of us. I guess it depends where we place our goals, where we measure success. Sometimes I consider myself lucky that I'm not a workaholic or overly career-focussed; I would fail so badly, unable to give myself a five-minute break, always drowning in my self-inflicted pressure.
As a Christian, I believe that God's standard is perfection. Sometimes that makes me feel like I'm drowning. That's kind of what got me thinking about ideals. Luckily God forgives me, sparing me most of the crap stage of the cycle, but I know I'm failing him, and it still feels like I'm falling short.
Where we draw our line is important. Some people's ideal life consists of having enough food to feed their families each day. Thinking about that makes me feel selfish for wanting any more than that; and if I do want more, I should not want it, I should give away my time and money so others can have food every day, to feed their families. It makes my amazon wish list look disgustingly consumerist; maybe I should put "clean drinking water for all" up there, or perhaps "medical treatment for the 30,000 children who die daily from preventable diseases".
Maybe the key to living a "happy" life is to be content with what we have.

King of the Hill

2006-08-23T12:44:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I took out my old bike, donned a too-small helmet, and faced my arch-nemesis.

As a young child, my parents used to take me out on my bike down a nearby road. On this road was a huge hill, and what a thrill it was to freewheel down it! One particular day freewheeling down said hill, my brother, a whole 6 years older, cycled past me on his 15 gear bike, causing the competitive 5 year old on the single-geared yellow piece of junk to attempt to pedal after him. I faceplanted the tarmac at the bottom.

You know how you watch a film, or play a computer game, from your childhood, and it never quite meets the expectation? In fact, it just taints the entire memory. Well, yesterday, I realised the hill was piddly. Really, really, piddly. The fact that I nearly fell off at the bottom this time was entirely due to my having not ridden a bike in 3 years.
I should have taken a picture of the hill, now I think about it.

I did, however, continue down the road into the peat bog, with Regina Spektor for company. Old men come along to the bog, and dig up peat for their old-fashioned fireplaces. I took only a few pictures with my phone, next time I should take my camera down to capture the pyramids of peat bricks, and the strange texture of the ground. If you stand still for too long, you begin to sink slightly.

I took a few pictures of the peat walls, surrounded by strange little moats. I wonder how men actually access the walls to cut, without a tiny boat.

Coupled with the fact that I saw a huge dragonfly, it was a good day.

I think I should also share a moment from Laura's 18th, a day previous.
Connor is on Stephen's shoulders. The plan is that Connor is going to put Andrew's shoe somewhere high and out of reach, say, on top of the conservatory. Jonny pounces on his opportunity. What you see in Jonny's hand are Connor's boxer shorts.

Check out to see how Connor is recovering at connormcc.wordpress.com

A Little Friendly Competition

2006-08-18T09:09:00.000+01:00

BMW say...

Audi say...

I just had to post these.

Rain Music

2006-08-16T16:24:00.000+01:00

I bought my first iPod a couple of days ago. My "brand new shiny box of fun", so says my girlfriend. The world is so different when you have music playing; walking from the train yesterday in the pouring rain, hoodie pulled up over my head, everything suddenly had its very own, damp, signature music. It was comforting, like the bleak Belfast rain came to life through the gentle melodies accompanying the silent splashes on the pavement. I've never much liked rain before, but I might walk in it more often now. For your walking-in-the-rain pleasure, I would recommend Joshua Radin, Regina Spektor, and most definitely the Garden State soundtrack.
Saying that, I'm biased towards Garden State in general.